


The Lost Malfoy

by Calyssm



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cannon Divergent, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:42:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28949853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calyssm/pseuds/Calyssm
Summary: Nyx Malfoy was sent away at a young age because she was a squib. That is her family thought she was until she received her letter from Hogwarts. While at school she met Bill Weasley. Now its many years later and The Dark Lord has returned. Nyx has been called as a Malfoy to join the Dark Lord's ranks. Little do they know that she is a member of the Order and is there to be a double agent along with Severus. With the retune of the Dark Lord Bill has come to join the fight but he has apprehensions about Nyx putting herself in danger. Will Nyx receive her happy ending with Bill or will being a double agent prove to be too much?
Relationships: Bill Weasley/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone! I hope you enjoy my story. in this chapter Bill is only mentioned but I promise he will show up later! This is the first time I have written fan fiction since 2014 so I beg of you to be kind! I hope you enjoy the story!

Chapter 1

Being a squib in the wizarding world was always difficult. Wizards had no idea how to interact with you. Even the nice ones would often talk to you as if you had some sort of disease. They could not imagine living without magic so they assumed I was miserable. What made me miserable was not my lack of magic but my family. I am a Malfoy, but my family desperately wished this was not the case. A squib in the Malfoy line was such a disgrace. I was an accident and my father made sure I understood that right up until the day he died. I always hated him and honestly rejoiced the day he died. My brother Lucius was always much kinder to me. He was 20 years my senior, so I often viewed him as more of a Father than my actual father. That’s not to say he does not have his own flaws. He is in many ways is much like our father except he does not possess his steel coldness. I would describe Lucius more as marble. He is cold and tough but had the possibility of being cracked. He is so obsessed with maintaining the legacy of the Malfoy name that he latches onto anyone or any idea that he thinks brings the family glory. I think that attitude will one day be his downfall. It almost was after the Dark lord was defeated by Harry Potter. Not that I ever expressed this to him. The only person I ever took the time to really explain my thoughts to was Bill Weasley. We attended Hogwarts together and while other students treated me as a pariah he treated me as if I was truly meant to be there. Which I had just as much right as anyone else. 

I am not actually a squib but my parents assumed I was because of the family test. There is a test that every Malfoy has taken when they reach the age of two. This test is supposed to show how strong of a wizard the child would turn out to be. You would think this test would be highly complicated and highly ritualistic. In reality the test was the child would be threated in various ways and they would see how strong of a magical reaction they received. My parents tried everything to induce my magic. I never used any, so they assumed I was a squib. They sent me to a family in America so they would not have to look at me. They were disgusted with me. Turns out I was just terrified of my parents, so I just froze instead of having a reaction, so I never exhibited any sign of magical ability. Once I got to America and became a bit older, I realized that I was not in fact a squib but I didn’t want to go back to living with my parents and I liked doing things the no maj way so I hid it from my host family. They were a kind family. The woman of the houses name was named Lilliana. She was also a pureblood squib who understood what it was like to be an outsider and cast off from your family. 

Much to their surprise when I turned eleven, I received my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Lillana was very confused. That was when I had to fess up that I actually had magic but I didn’t want to leave so I hid it from her. She was so excited for me and immediately had me owl my family back in England the good news. My father assumed I was lying and told me to leave him alone and to never speak to them again. My very existence was brining shame to the family. He truly was a vile man. He didn’t believe me until I returned home a month before I was supposed to attend Hogwarts. I indignantly showed him my Hogwarts letter and told him I was no liar and that I was attending Hogwarts. He said there must have been some mistake. I was so furious that I levitated the nearest antique crystal vase and broke it over his head. That did nothing to change his temperament, but it did make me feel a bit better. Lucius pretended to be horrified but I know he secretly found it quite funny. He used to come and visit me in America, but he never told our father. I even got to see my nephew Draco a few months after he was born. He was such a cute little baby. He even had the stark white hair of a Malfoy. That was one trait I always wished I inherited. Instead, I inherited my mother’s dark brown hair. If I didn’t look so much like the Malfoy women, I think my father would have tried to say that I was not his daughter at all. He didn’t want to disgrace my mother that way. Though so he did claim me. He was many things, but he did love my mother deeply. Because so many people knew me as the squib I was often still treated as one. Maybe not to my face because people are still scared of the Malfoy name and the power it holds, but I knew they all secretly looked down on me. 

Now as I walk up to the manor there is a sinking feeling in my gut. I know what will await me when I enter the door and I know what it must do but I’m unsure if I have the strength to do it. I just watched as the Diggory boy return dead and heard Potter yell that Voldemort had returned. I quickly returned to my flat and saw that I had a message from my brother that I needed to come to the manor as soon as I saw the letter but to make sure that I looked presentable. I knew immediately that the Dark Lord had returned, and I was being summoned as a Malfoy to join the ranks. I knew where my duty and my loyalties lie so I freshened up, put on my best green robes and now I was approaching the front door. 

I walked inside and stepped into the grand dining room. I was greeted by a man that was no longer fully man. Lucius quickly rushed over to me and said “See my Lord I told you she would come. This is my sister Nyx. As soon as she was called, she came.” 

“Hello Dark Lord.” I said “I am honored to be in your presence. I present myself as your humble servant.” The Dark Lord stared at me with his snake like eyes. 

In his breathy, shill voice he said “We met once when you were younger. You kicked me in the shin.” 

“Yes sir I did and I greatly apologize for that sir. ”I said quickly “I was so young and didn’t understand your magnificence. I was excited about gathering my supplies for my first year at Hogwarts and my brother said we could not go because he had a meeting with you. I had a temper when I was younger, so I marched into the meeting and kicked you in the shin for delaying my trip. I look back on that moment with great shame.” 

“Well my dear that is long in the past” said the Dark Lord “But I will not tolerate insubordination.” His eyes bore into me. He lifted his hand and offered it to me “Since you were so young, I will forgive you” he said “I Invite you to take my mark and join my ranks.” 

Without hesitation I respond, “I would be honored.”


	2. The Order

I slowly walk up to Grimwald place. I do my best to hide my exhaustion. The ceremony was long an extensive, but it was finally over. I was officially a death eater. Dark mark and all. It still stung a bit but hopefully overtime that will pass. I’ll have to ask Lucius about that. He’s has his mark for many years now. Although finding him without the Dark Lord being present might prove difficult now that he has moved into the Manor. I might need to speak with Snape then. Honestly, I would rather talk to anyone but him but he’s the only accessible one I can speak with. He’s insufferable. He likes to think of himself as the master of the dark arts but he’s truly a beginner. He is too proud to truly harness the dark arts. 

As I walk into the door I’m greeted by an equally as tired looking Sirius Black

“Well who might you be? You can only be here if you were invited and I don’t remember inviting you and trust me I would remember that.” He said with a smirk

“I guess it has been a long time Sirius. But honestly is Remus not here for you to hit on?” I said 

“Ah yes finally someone in the house that deserves to be here hello Miss Malfoy. Anyone of the Malfoy line will always be welcome in my house” said the portrait on the wall. 

“Shut it Mother. Nyx Malfoy. My you have grown. Lucius would have my balls if he knew I spoke to you that way.” 

“Oh trust me Sirius I’m the one you should be afraid of not my brother.” I said in a playful tone “Where is Kreacher?”

“He’s in the back preparing tea for everyone. We haven’t slept much since we have confirmation that he who must not be named has returned.” 

“Oh good! has everyone gathered I have news I need to share” I said as I brushed past Sirius as I handed him my cloak.

I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by Dumbledore, Molly, Author, Remus, Tonks, and Snape. 

“Hello everyone! Meet the newest Death Eater” I said with a flourish of my hands and stike of a pose.

An eerie silence fell over the room

“What the fuck do you mean you are a Death Eater?” Asked Sirius

“So he didn’t expect anything?” Asked Dumbledore 

“I wouldn’t go that far but he needs new followers because his past team is a bit fucked up since most of them have been in Azkaban. I think I will have to do something to prove myself, but he knows I’m powerful, so I think he’s willing to take the risk for my power. And he does have the advantage of pretty much holding my entire family hostage since he is now living at the Manor. If I betray him he will kill them without hesitation. He is already mad at Lucious for not trying to find him when he disappeared the first time.”

At that moment the door to the kitchen swings open and Kreacher appears with Bill right behind him.

“Bill” I exclaimed 

Bill had four mugs of tea, two in each hand, that he promptly dropped when he saw me.

This prompted Kreacher to mumble under his breath “this is why mistress never let blood traitors into the house.”

He rushed over and picked me up in a big bear hug

“Nxy!” Bill exclaimed “I wanted to say hi to you at the tournament but after what happened I couldn’t find you! are you okay? I haven’t seen you in years why didn’t you come visit me in Egypt like you said you would?”

“If you consider her joining the Death Eaters okay then she is doing just fine” stated Remus 

“You did what? Nyx please tell me this is a joke” exclaimed Bill.

“It’s not. I’ve been marked and everything. If everyone would give me a minuet then I can explain my reasons.”

“There is no logical reason for joining the Death Eaters. Get out of my house” said Sirius very calmly.

“Everyone” exclaimed Dumbledore “if you would give her a minuet to explain it will make more sense. Although you really could have handled this better Nyx”

“I’ve always had a flair for the dramatics and it just seemed like such a good opportunity I just couldn’t pass it up. But I understand this night has been hard on us all and I should have approached it differently. I apologize.”

I then turned to Sirius and said “if you truly want me to leave your house, I will do so immediately but I beg of you to hear me out. I have a legitimate reason.”

Sirius staired at me for a minute and swept his hand in front of himself as to tell me to continue.

“Thank you” I said “I’m not really a death Eater but I am marked”

“How can you be marked?” said Snape “I can see both of your arms in your rather scandalous dress and I see no mark.”

“If you would stop interrupting me and let me get a word in edgewise then I could explain. Let me finish my story first and then ask questions. Honestly, I should put a silencing spell on all you men. I knew for a while that the Dark Lord would try to return. Once Harry saw him his first year, I knew I needed to prepare. I knew my brother would have me join the ranks. I of course could have declined but I saw this as an opportunity. I know we already have Snape as an informant, but I thought having multiple spies couldn’t hurt. I approached Dumbledore with my proposition and together we came up with a plan. Instead of being another informant like Snape I could fulfill another role. I would be a double Agent. I figured he would mark me because of my blood and my name but I also knew he would ask what use I could bring to the group and I knew it had to be good. I told him that I would be a spy in the Order. He no longer had Peter and this as a role he needed filled. I explained that I was friends with Bill and that I was one of Dumbledore’s favorite students so it wouldn’t be hard for me to gain access. I said that I knew he would one day be returning, and I had been placing myself among the filth of the Earth so I could be of use when he returned. He thought this was a brilliant idea and exclaimed that there was still loyal Malfoys and that my diligence would be rewarded. When it came time for my mark, I requested that it be place somewhere that would be less seen. I couldn’t be a spy and have a visible mark. The mark is place on the wrist because there is a vein that leads directly to the heart. There is also such a vein in your thigh. That is why I wore the scandalous dress as Snape so graciously put it. It has a deep slit in the skirt so I could be modest but still be marked.”

As I am talking, I move my skirt aside to show my mark. Because it is still new there is still some residual redness. The entire room gasps. 

“Nyx that’s too dangerous you can’t put yourself in danger like that. We already have Snape we don’t need you to be a spy as well” said Bill

“I appreciate your concern Bill but it’s a bit too late for that now. As you can clearly see I’m marked and I refuse to have gone through that process for no reason” I said with a shudder.

“Oh dear” said Molly “boys leave her alone. Can you not tell she’s exhausted and about to fall over and I’m sure that mark has to hurt. Sit down dearie. We have all been through enough tonight and we can talk more about it in the morning”

“Sirius now that I have explained myself would you please allow me to stay” I asked

“Of course,” he said “I won’t apologize for being so harsh though. I swore I would never let another death eater in my house. I only let Snape here because Dumbledore said I had to let him in”

“Well unlike Snape I did not take my vows with any intention of following him. My being a part of his ranks is my way of saying fuck you. I’ve seen the destruction he has brought, and I refuse to idly sit by when I have an opportunity to be extremely useful”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you are enjoying the story so far! I know the chapters are a bit short but I want to make sure I out out content I really like so I prefer to do that in shorter bits! I have been informed that this may not be an AU so I apologize if you were miss led. I really haven't written or seriously read fan fiction since 2014 on wattpad so some of the new terms and wage are very foreign to me! Like I said I hope you enjoy the story because I've enjouyed writing it so far and I have much more story to come!


	3. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early morning with Bill and Nyx

I woke up early the next morning after a fitful night’s sleep. The sun was just beginning to rise and peak through the dusty old curtains. Kreacher had tried his best to clean the room when I arrived but it had been shut up for so long. I couldn’t sleep because all I could see was the Dark Lord’s face. I remember him when he was younger, and he was quite handsome. I think that’s what initially drew people to him. He was charismatic, handsome, and had a vision That’s all a man needs to be successful. Now though his reputation proceeds him so I don’t think his looks will dissuade anyone from joining him. What worries me is more people will join him out of fear. He looks like the personification of death which is pretty apt. He only brings death and destruction in his wake. Now I’m thinking in cliches. I need a cup of tea that will help. 

I slipped on my robe and slipped downstairs as quietly as possible. When I reached the dining room I was greeted by the beautiful face of bill. Honestly, he had a face that could make you forget all your worry. 

“Well good morning” said Bill “I wasn’t expecting anyone up for hours. You were never an early riser”

“It was a habit I developed” I lied. He didn’t need to know my fears

“Oh well I guess it has been a while since we really talked last” said Bill “What have you been up to recently?”

“Oh honestly a little bit of everything. As you know I don’t really need to work because of my inheritance I received after my bastard of a Father passed. I of course still keep up my dark magic studies. That causes me to travel a lot. I’m on the school committee with Luscious. I helped make sure that Remus was hired as the Defense the Dark Arts position. They tried to get me to do it but I fully believe that position is cursed. Not saying that I wished any harm on Remus but I knew he was strong enough to handle it.” 

“And you were still able to convince a room full of Purebloods and he must who not be named that you were not a blood traitor after encouraging a werewolf to be hired as a teacher at Hogwarts ? Asked Bill “I find that hard to believe are you sure you are not walking into a trap?”

“Good morning miss” interrupted Kreacher “Can I get you something?”

“A cup of tea would be perfect thank you” I said “do you have any pastries for breakfast” 

“I didn’t get offered anything” said bill 

“You are a filthy blood traitor” said Kreacher “and I have some Danish if you would like some Miss Malfoy”

“That sounds lovely Kreacher and please bring one for my friend as well please. I’m sure he would like some more tea and a Danish”

“Anything you ask miss Malfoy” said Kreacher “but I have to say I won’t be happy about it”

Once Kreacher disappeared into the kitchen ”honestly I’m not sure I would consume anything he brings back. He may try to poison you or at the very least he will spit in your food.” I said with a giggle

“You might be right.” Said Bill “ill take my chances though I’m starving. You need to stop avoiding my questions and explain all of this to me”

“I don’t have to do anything Bill Weasley” I said

“You’re right. Please explain everything to me.” He said in an exaggerated tone “Honestly I’m worried” 

“Much better” I said “Now as you know at Hogwarts, I became what some would call obsessive with the first war”

“You were obsessed no doubt about it” said Bill

“and you of all people know why. I knew even back then that the Dark Lord was coming back and I wanted to be ready. Also, I didn’t want to repeat the mistakes of my brother. I studied both Dark magic and the First war. That war permeated everything in my life, and I had to know everything about it “

“Or you were just a loser with no friends who hyper fixated on the past” said Bill with a chuckle

“Well, I wasn’t enough of a pureblood to fit in with the other pureblood kids but everyone else assumed because I was a Malfoy that I was like my brother” I said

“And you never told them you weren’t” said Bill “You always took others abuse and never said a word. I never understood that. Why not defend yourself. The purebloods called you a filthy squib while everyone else just avoided you like the plague”

“Ah all except for the brave Bill Weasley. He had the audacity to speak to me and I’m very happy you did.” I said with a smile “but to answer your question the reason I never tried to correct anyone was because there was no point. I clearly wasn’t a squib and my marks in school were a very indication of that.

“Ah not quite as good as me though” he said “Only 11 OWLS”

“Oh, and you will never let me forget that” I say with an eye roll “you know I was hopeless at herbology.”

“You were” he said “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t lose any body parts in that class”

“Oh that’s because Professor Sprout would not let me touch any plants after the first day” I said “I nearly lost a finger.”

“Who nearly lost a finger” said Tonks sleepily as she walked in

“Nyx in herbology” said Bill

“That really happened?” said Tonks “I thought that was a rumor. Did professor Sprout really not let you back into the green house?”

“She let me into the green house, but I just had to watch” I said “I couldn’t touch anything, and she banned me from enrolling in any advanced herbology classes” 

Kreacher walked back in with bill and I tea and danishes

“Thank you Kreacher” I said “I think the others will be up soon would you mind preparing breakfast for everyone?”

“Only because you asked” said Kreacher 

“Or if Sirius asked” I said

“I would do it, but I wouldn’t be happy about it” he said “but I don’t mind if you ask”

“And why is that? Is it because I’m a Malfoy? Because I promise I’m just as much of a traitor as Siris is and maybe even worse” I said

“Well mistress likes you, so I like you” said Kreacher 

“Speaking of that portrait does it ever shut up?” I asked

“No, it does not” said Siris as he entered the room “My mother is truly determined to make my life miserable even from the grave.

“I know the feeling. There is a portrait of my Father at the Manor that calls me a filthy squib every time I’m near it. Luckily its in Lucius’ study so I don’t see it very often.” 

“You know Nyx you and I have a lot in common” said Sirius

“Oh you wish you were as half as cool as I am” said Nyx “and maybe even a quarter as powerful”

“She’s got you there Sirius” said Remus as he entered

“How are you Remus? I know everyone misses you at Hogwarts. You were the best Defense teacher they have had in a long time. Maybe since Dumbledore held the position.” I said

“Ah you flatter me miss Malfoy” said Remus “But we all know you would be a much better teacher, but you refuse to take the position”

“Maybe one day but for now my talents are needed elsewhere” I said 

“Speaking of which are you going to tell us what in the hell possessed you to become a Death Eater?” ask Sirius

“I’ve been trying to get her to tell me all morning, but she keeps changing the subject” said Bill

“One I’m not changing the subject I was starting to explain. Two before I go into that I want to wait for Molly to be up and I would like to get out of my pajamas. This seems like too serious of a conversation to have in my dressing gown.” I said 

“Good Morning everyone” Said Molly jolly as she entered the room with Arthur at her heals “is that breakfast I smell I was going to make something for everyone”

“I asked Kreacher if he could make some for everyone” I said as I had a bite of my danish. Bill had demolished his long ago.

“Oh well he doesn’t have to do that” said Molly 

“You asked him, and he just did it? Teach me your ways!” said Sirius

“Yes, but only because he doesn’t understand just how much of a traitor I am but since you mother has decided she likes me he does whatever I ask” I said 

“well I’ll go help him” said Molly

“Actually, molly I was about to talk about last night after I changed” I said “I would love for you to be here when I tell the story”

“Oh of course my dear” said Molly “I’m sure the whole ordeal was just awful, but I might just have something for you to wear. I was going to wait until Christmas, but I think you might need it now”

A heavy silence fell over the room

Molly left and returned with a parcel wrapped in a Daily Prophet. Luckily it was an old one, so it had nothing about the loss of poor Cedric. As a pulled back the paper I was greeted by a beautiful knitted sweater. It was a deep emerald green with a silver N knitted into it.

“Oh Molly” I said as I fought tears “it’s beautiful thank you but you didn’t have to do this”

“Oh, I wanted to dearie don’t you fret” said Molly “Now you can join the Weasley family portrait”

“Molly that’s so sweet but I’m not a Weasley” I said

“You are as much of a Weasley as any of my children now run off and get changed, I want to see it on you!” said Molly 

“I can put it over my dress from yesterday thank you so molly” I said as I hugged her

“Oh surely we can come up with some different clothes for you” said Molly

“No its fine I want to be able to show everyone my mark and the dress is the easiest way to do that” I said “give me a second and I’ll be back and I promise I will explain everything. I wish Dumbledore was here to help me, but I understand he’s busy I can do it.”

I rushed upstairs to try on my new sweater. It was so beautiful and thoughtful. I had plenty of designer clothes, but this was the most beautiful piece of clothing I had ever received. As I put it on, I wept. My family had never shown me such kindness and Molly had confirmed that I was now a Weasley. I wish I could officially become one, but I know Bill does not feel that way about me. I’ve been in love with him since Hogwarts but there’s no way he could love a Malfoy, so I’ve always kept it myself. Too many of his family members have been murdered by mine. That’s why I’m so surprised Molly had decided to accept me. That’s not to say she was always so warm, but I think the sweater is her way of saying she loves and accepts me. Well, that and her literally telling me I’m a Weasley. I need to pull myself together I have to be composed when I go back downstairs. I have to explain my plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I tried to make it a bit longer! I promise next chapter Ill let Nyx tell everyone the plan! but I hope you all like the story! I can't commit to a consistent upload schedule but I promise ill do my best to upload every couple of weeks. Between work and school I've been busy!


	4. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx finally explains the plan to the others

I came down stairs wearing my new sweater and my dress from the night before. Honestly after this I might just burn this dress. I never want to remember that night but I have to relive it just once to tell everyone. That’s naive of me to think and I know it. I’m going to have to tell this story over and over again. 

I reentered the dining room and there was a full breakfast spread out before me and everyone was happily eating and chatting. Once they saw me they all went quite. 

“Okay I’m ready to tell you all everything that I know about last night and my decision” I said “ As I was telling Bill this morning I have been obsessed with studying both dark magic and the First war. In my studies I was certain that The Dark Lord would return. There are many different ways dark magic can be used to preserve one’s life but I’m not sure which he has used. That’s what Dumbledore is working on now. After graduation I brought my suspicions to Dumbledor. I said that I knew they were coming back and that I was going to be roped into the mess my brother made when he joined the Death Eaters in his youth. I knew that they would try and recruit me. Dumbledore and I both realized that I was in a position to become the spy we didn’t have in the last war. Of course, we have Snape so we didn’t need another informant. Besides I’m new and will not hear as much but might gain his trust in eventually pick up what Severus misses. Dumbledore may have faith in him but I know Snape never truly gave up the ideas that originally made him join the group so I think having another set of ears in the room might be helpful. together we decided that I would be a double spy. I would present myself do the Dark Lord and tell him that I have been awaiting his return and that in the process I have been studying dark magic and befriending those of the order. That way I could subtly lead him astray”

“Nyx I’m very aware of your prowess as a dark magic conjurer. I’ve seen it first hand but do you really think your skills are enough to tempt you know who and is he really going to believe you? He’s a master legilimens he could look int your mind and quickly see you are lying” said Remus

“It’s very plausible I’ve never been shy about my association with the Weasleys and my skills in dark magic surpass that even of Severus. That might sound like hubris but I promise it is not. The only other person who might be more powerful than me is the dark lord but only because he is willing to commit acts I refuse to. And when it comes to legilimens I picked up a few tricks on my travels in that will help me with the invasion of my thoughts. As you all know you can compartmentalize your brain. I learned a technique on how to compartmentalize my thoughts to where I can only show others only thoughts I want for them to see. I’m certain the Dark Lord does not know about this. The connection between the brain and magic is honestly fascinating.”

“Why do you call him the Dark Lord?” asked Tonks

“I call him the Dark Lord is because that was the name given to me when I introduced to him as a child. That was the first name I heard and everyone in my acquaintance addressed him that was so that is the name I use for him.”

“You met him?” asked Sirius 

“yes when I was eleven” I said “it wasn’t long before he disappeared actually. I had returned from my exile in America to attend Hogwarts now that it was proven I was not actually a Squib. I actually kicked him in the shins when I first met him. I of course had no idea who he was but all I knew was he was in my way of obtaining my school supplies for Hogwarts and nothing was going to stand in my way. Apparently even one of the strongest dark wizards in the world.”

“Nothing will stand in your way if you truly want it Nyx” said Bill with a chuckle

“It was incredibly stupid and apparently it did stick with him because he mentioned it last night when we were reintroduced. He greeted me as warmly as he was capable of and offered to give me his mark.” I said

“That quickly?” said Arthur “that seems odd to me Nyx. Are you sure you are not walking into a trap?”

“I think initially I was but he did mark me and he does not chose those who he marks lightly. I think he calculated and my skill with dark magic was enough to make me useful. Or that he could use me an example of what happens to those who betray him even if they are from a powerfully old family. Either way I am useful. Also like I told Dumbledore he is desperate for new followers. All of his previous ones were either in Azkaban or were unloyal. He needs fresh blood. that’s not to say he trust me immediately. I’ll have to earn that.

“I have a question about the mark” said Sirius “I’ve seen plenty of those in my life but never on thigh. They are always on the wrist.”

“Actually that leads me to the next part of my story” I said “When I was presented in front of the other death eaters to receive my mark I asked the Dark Lord to place mine on my thigh. The point of it being on the wrist is because there is a vein that leads directly to the heart in the wrist and it symbolizes loyalty. There is a similar vein in the thigh. When he asked me why there I said because I was offering myself to him as a spy in the Order of the Phoenix and the mark would be easier to conceal if it was on my thigh. I was a loyal pureblood he wanted to join his glorious cause that I had been preparing for my whole life my studying Dark magic and the First War. Now that peaked his interest. Now that Peter was supposed to be dead he no longer had an in on the order but now with me he had an actual loyal servant who would be a spy for him. Peter only became an informant because he was scared. Now there is me who willingly showed up and am offering to become a spy. He was suspicious of my motives. He said I had never been a vocal supporter of his for many years now. He said that I clearly didn’t mind hanging around mudbloods and blood traitors. As much as he wants to think it’s because it was for his return he just couldn’t believe that. That’s when I knew I got him. He knew I was powerful and I needed him to think he had caught me in a lie. He needed to think he was smarter than me. So I was partially truthful. I said that he had caught me. And I apologized. I just wanted to impress him with my foresight but in reality I don’t fully buy into the blood supremacy ideal but the current system clearly isn’t working so my loyalty isn’t to the pureblood ideal but to you Dark Lord. You promise to being about a new age and I want to be a part of it. I have skills and the connections to be of use so please let me serve you. I have been studying dark magic my whole life for the purpose of changing the world. He then let me take the mark.”

“You convinced him with that pitiful story?” asked Sirius

“And what was that ceremony like my dear” asked Molly “I’m sure it was dreadful”

“I don’t think its something I should repat Molly” I said “its too dark and I don’t dare ever repeat it. I can say it did hurt and that the mark still stings. I’m not sure if it will ever stop I was going to ask Snape next time I saw him. The magic used is like nothing I’ve seen so I don’t know how to deal with it.” 

“So you think you have them convinced and that you are safe” asked Remus

“and to answer both Sirius’ an Remus’ question “I can’t guarantee that I’m safe but I don’t have to be there very often unlike Snape so I’ll be okay” I said “I’m supposed to report to him once a week and give him an update on what’s happening. I will of course have to give away some details and a few probably important ones but nothing enough to really put anyone in danger. I do truly think I convinced him for the most part. Because he caught me in a lie I think he thinks I’m not as smart as he is. His arrogance will be his downfall. He assumes I’m as blind and loyal as the rest of my family. Excapt its even better because im loyal to only him like Bella is.” 

“How do we know we can trust you?” asked Sirius “you might have the rest convinced but you were raised a pureblood.”

“As were you” I said “except I wasn’t stupid and reckless enough to get myself put into Azkaban for it.”

“Now that was uncalled for” said Remus

“She has a point Remus” Said Tonks

“I’m not trying to shame you Sirius. You were one of the first to break away and everyone has their choice how to do it but I learned from your mistakes. I also had the luxury of not really being raised as a pureblood. I was raised as a squib. Of course Lucious and Narcissa taught me the values and I can blend in with those that need me to. I was raised by those who know how to snake their way out of every situation. I’m not saying that I’m doing this completely out of an altruistic notion. It’s also for my survival but Sirius I swear to you I’m not here to betray anyone. I understand I will have to earn your trust but I didn’t take this because I wanted to.”

I slipped my leg out of my dress and showed my mark

“He is a vile, inhumane person who will hurt those I care about and I will not let that happen. And you can trust that” I said

Everyone was quite for a minuet staring at the mark.

“I don’t trust you” said Sirius “but others in this room clearly do and I think you are being honest” said Sirius ‘but if you ever betray us I will personally hunt you down and kill you”

“I know you don’t know me but you might talk to your friends before you ever come after me. You would be dead before you ever find me. Kindly remember that”

“Well I want to go check on Harry” said Arthur trying to break the squabble” after last night I’m sure he’s shook up. We have to take him back to his aunt and uncle but we can bring the rest of the kids here. And thank you for telling your story Nyx. I’m sure that was difficult.” 

“I’ll come with you” said molly

“I’ll come as well” said Remus 

“Me too” Said Sirius “there is no way you all are leaving me here with her. She just threatened me. 

“You cannot leave here Sirius” said Arthur “it’s too dangerous and we just got you back.”

I can go as a dog” said Sirius “I want to see Harry”

“Sirius you just can’t I’m sorry” said Molly “but we will take care of him’

“And I didn’t really threaten you” I said “I was responding to your threat there is a difference. I don’t want to be your enemy. Like you said we have a lot in common I would much rather be your friend. Besides we both know that if i had backed down and cowered you would have told me I wasn’t strong enough to be around purebloods. I’m not stupid Sirius.”

“Ah maybe you are clever enough to survive” said Sirius with a wink

“Oh I know I am” I said

“I’m going to go check on Moody” said Tonks “I know he’s tough but being locked up for that long might even turn him more crazy” 

With that everyone dispersed, and I left the dining room. I needed a minuet to go collect myself. Bill followed me out. He pulled me into a siting room off the main hallway. There was a family tree on the wall that had burn marks in it. Sirius had been literally burned out of his family tree. I know the feeling

“Nyx are you okay?” asked Bill

“I’m fine.” I said “I just needed to get Sirius to back off a bit. I understand his apprehensions about me but I can handle myself.”

“I know you can but Nyx this is big. You are literally taking on the most powerfully dark wizard in existence” said Bill “and i wish you would have come and talked to me about this. I thought we were closer than this. I’m just caught off guard.”

“Well Bill I haven’t seen you in years and with both of our travels. Nether of us have really been able to write. We both started extensively traveling after graduation and I didn’t come up with this plan until then. One I did see you it was at the tournament but then the boy was murdered and I was summoned. I didn’t have time to tell you. And honestly even if I did I’m not sure I would have told you. I didn’t tell anyone except Dumbledore because I knew everyone would have tried to talk me out of it.” 

“Because you are putting yourself too much at risk” said Bill

“Everyone is fighting against him are putting themselves at risk” I said

“Yes but not all of us have scheduled weekly meeting with him” said bill as he angrily ran his hands through his fingers. 

He also began to pace. He’s done that since we were kids at Hogwarts when he was stressed. I used to joke that he was going to lose his precious hair if he kept stressing. This didn’t seem like the time to make a joke.

“Bill I really didn’t have a choice. Do you really think that they were going to let a pureblood Malfoy free to fight against them? I either had to join them or face the consequences of disloyalty so I chose the best option”

“how in the hell is joining the death eaters your best option?” said Bill “and as you pointed out you are not the first one to break free they didn’t hunt down Sirius more than the others of the original order?”

“if you think that what happened to Sirius wasn’t a planned attack then you are naive Bill” I said “They couldn’t have a high ranking pureblood out fighting against the Dark Lord. That made him look weak and like he couldn’t even handle one boy. He made sure to frame Sirius and used Peter to do it. He is the one who put Sirius in Azkaban and made it look as if it was he who turned ranks. That way no purebloods turned against him. I have no doubts that we will win this time but I had to find a way to stay alive and sane until then. We are currently fighting the ministry on his return. Don’t you think they wouldn’t try to get me committed to Azkaban or better yet just kill me and get it over with. Bill I’m doing what I need to do to survive with the added bonus of helping the cause”

“We would have protected you Nyx. There are so many people here who love you and would gladly protect you. I think you might have even won Sirius over” said bill

“And how many people’s lives would I be putting in danger? My one life is not worth that of so many others Bill. And also, this order doesn’t have the best track record of protecting those within it. Look at Sirius, Lilly and James, Alice and Frank just to name a few. I had to both look out for myself and those that I love.”

I took a step forward and Bill stop pacing. I took his hands between mine and made him look into my eyes 

“I promise you that I will do everything in my power to not only protect myself but also those I love. This isn’t a suicide mission Bill. This is how I’m contributing to take down the man I despise the most”

He searched my face looking for a lie, for a tell.

After a moment he said “fine I believe you but Nyx your life is worth something. Please don’t think you are not worth saving. I’m not sure what I would do without you. Just promise me that once it gets too much you will pull out” said Bill

“I’m not sure I can make that promise Bill. This is going to be tough, but I can guarantee I will do my best. That’s honestly all I can offer you Bill” 

“well I’ll take whatever you can offer me” said Bill as he released me hands “I’m going to go with mom and dad to get Harry. I’ll see you later Nyx”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I tried to best explain my thoughts and plans for Nyx but if it didn't make sense please tell me and I will try to clarify! I also tried to make this section a bit longer than the last three. I really love this idea so I hope you all will enjoy this journey for me! leave kudos if you feel so inclined. It would honestly make my day!


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